Knock Knock Knockin on Heaven's Door

It's only been 2 weeks that my dad and cousin have been staying with me and my brother in his 2 bedroom house, but it feels much much longer. My cousin most nights (when he hasn't fallen asleep flopped on the love seat, having been texting his paramours in the Philippines into the early AM) sleeps in my bedroom, and I camp out in the living room on an inflatable mattress ten feet away from my dad his semi-liquid bullk perched on a leather sofa looking like he could easily roll over in his sleep and crash to the floor. It took me a week to get used to his frequent and persistent moaning ("Apo, Apo" invoking the god of pain and old age) Last week I drove my dad to go to the doctor (who I found out is Taiwanese and if not quite the quack I made him out to be is prescription happy, always plying my dad with samples for asthma inhalers, blood-sugar stabilizers, and viagra.) Other days I took him shopping, to visit old friends unannounced, or to eat bad filipino food for lunch in Carson or Norwalk. On Thursday I ended up driving my cousin and my dad to one of the last remaining seedy blocks of Hollywood Boulevard, where they went to a magic store (buying some 80 dollars worth of trick cards, a chinese wand, vanishing foam balls, and a functioning pen that can puncture holes through dollar bills without a tear.) Three doors down they made their way to a sex shoppe to look for dildos and aphrodisiacs. I did not accompany them into the sex shoppe, but instead shoved my dad on his wheelchair through the open doorway, beckoning my cousin to take over, and parked my ass on a bus bench to read the LA weekly. After 15 minutes, I went in to check on them and found my dad sizing up a rack of pornstar dildos ("do these vibrate?" he asked me). My cousin purchased some kind of "Spanish fly" in powder form ("I can put this in their salads" he told me later in the car, pulling out a baggy with what looked like ground cumin). Later that evening at a Denny's in downtown Long Beach (At my dad's insistence on T-bone steaks for dinner), my cousin complained how hard it's been to go without fucking for the last week. "I want to go home," he said, "back home I can't go 2 days without..." and then he gestured by rapping his knuckles on the table.